How unmet expectations nearly ruined my vacation—and what shifted everything
Over the holidays, I took a family vacation that I had been planning for two years. When I booked this cruise, I was certain my life would look different from how it was. I would have a handle on my Lyme disease, would be physically stronger, out of a wheelchair, and closer to being the person everyone had once known. I WAS CERTAIN!
That is not what happened.
Here’s the thing about certainty… it comes with expectations.
The reality is, I spent the first three days crying. This was not what I imagined when I booked this trip. The physical limitations of being in small spaces in a wheelchair, having to wait for elevators as others walked up the stairs to get around the boat. These frequent reminders that I was not where I had expected to be. It was difficult. Sad. Frustrating.
The truth is, living with chronic illness, anxiety, depression, or anything that is debilitating separates us from our people. Even the best partners, friends, and children can’t change what we are experiencing, and it is isolating.
By the third day something started to shift. I didn’t deserve to feel this bad. I can turn this around. This prompted me to take out my Common Wisdom Journal, which I often do to help me put pen to paper. I went to the Resilience chapter, and this question (#9) spoke to me…
How quickly are you able to adapt to a challenging situation?
I started to write. Through this writing, I started to feel empowered and hopeful. I know I can recalibrate, shift my perspective, and find gratitude here in the current moment.
When I shifted my focus from how things should be to how they are, my energy changed. Acceptance replaced frustration. Hope replaced expectations.
Expectation is an Assumption Something Will Happen.
Hope is a Desire for a Positive Outcome (without certainty).
I am so grateful that the remainder of the vacation has left me with great memories. One of my favorites was this day at the beach with my family. The sand, ocean, breeze – it will stay with me for a long time.
Expectation and hope are mental orientations and when we recognize an expectation and consciously choose hope we open our mind and heart to unexpected joys.
What expectations are you holding onto for yourself, and how might Wisdom guide you toward a different, more compassionate path?
