Kindness is expressed in many different ways, both physical and emotional. As Mark Twain once said, “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Opening the door for a father trying to wrangle a couple of toddlers inside; or driving a neighbor to a doctor’s appointment when their car has broken down are examples of physical kindness. Physically doing something to help another person is kindness in its most observable form. Paying someone an unexpected compliment about the cookies they baked; or letting a friend vent about their frustrating day are examples of emotional kindness.
One thing is certain: Kindness can make something difficult or painful much less so – for both the giver and the receiver. When given from the heart, kindness is one of the elements of wisdom that makes a big impact with very little effort. Mahatma Gandhi is quoted as saying, “The simplest acts of kindness are by far more powerful than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.”
The Oxford Dictionary defines kindness as “being friendly, generous, and considerate.” As previously explained, it is a simple concept, not onerous to do, yet has long-reaching impacts. Being kind does not negate one’s effectiveness and rate of success in getting their point across. You can be firm, but still be kind. For example, if a co-worker asks you to complete a task she has been assigned, rather than say, “Sorry, I can’t help you,” and walking away, you might show kindness by saying, “I wish I could help you out, but I am in a time crunch, myself. Have you spoken to our supervisor about this, yet? He may be able to help you find a solution or give you a time extension.” Being kind often results in better results as it communicates an air of reason and calmness, not anger.
Being kind to others is important, but it begins with another form of kindness that the participants feel is equally significant. Many participants strongly believe that kindness starts with being kind to oneself. At the core of this is self-love and a lack of hypercritical self-judgment. For some, this may be challenging. We have a natural negativity bias and tend to focus on our “failures” or disappointments instead of seeing something positive about ourselves or our situation. For example, we remember having dressed inappropriately for an event, having accidentally said something inappropriate in a public situation, or getting a poor grade. Still, we forget about how we held the elevator for an older person on the way to that event, or how hard we worked for that grade that was an improvement over the last grade.
Being kind to ourselves makes it easier to be kind to others, and makes a lasting impression on the receiver of kindness. Many of us can remember many instances of being acknowledged for an act of kindness, whether it was for helping a younger sibling put on their shoes, or letting a young friend get a piece of birthday cake before you. Abraham Lincoln said, “Kindness is the only service that will stand the storm of life. It will wear well and will be remembered long after the prism of politeness or the complexion of courtesy has faded away.”
Have a happy holiday!