Wisdom Doesn’t Stop Loss. It Changes How We Live Through It.
On January 7 of this year, I lost my home in the Palisades fire. The sadness, loss, and suffering were felt by an entire community. The devastation hit me hard, and I cried for days. My children’s questions broke me even more: “Where will we go, Mom? Why did this happen? Where will I go to school?” They had so many questions—and so did I.
My children’s favorite toys, the memories of their childhood, family heirlooms, all our pictures—everything in the world we cherished was gone. Eighteen years of memories, all lost.
Years earlier, debilitating health challenges took me away from the work I loved, and over time, I lost not only my career as a doctor but also my mobility and sense of identity.
What got me through those years of sickness, loss, and isolation were the adults I interviewed for the Wisdom Research Project—people who had overcome tragic deaths, abuse, and illness, yet were living lives filled with peace, meaning, and joy.
Through them, I discovered the eight elements that define wisdom and began practicing and strengthening those skills myself.
Resilience: Helped me get up and out of bed every day despite a body that didn’t want to move.
Kindness: Came in the form of self-care and learning to reframe from judging myself for not being able to do the things I once could.
Positivity: Enjoying being home with my family every day.
Spirituality: Believing there was a bigger plan even though I couldn’t see it.
Humility: Learning to accept help when I could no longer walk on my own.
Tolerance: Continuing to seek answers despite medical misdiagnoses and treatments that made me sicker.
Creativity: Turning to my research skills to explore how other people endured life’s challenges—leading me to a research project and eventually a book.
Curiosity: Asking myself, “What can I learn from this? How can I grow through this?”
So, when the fire came, I knew what devastation felt like, and I had the tools to face it.
Today, it has been nine months, and while we are not yet fully settled, my children are happy and thriving in a new school system. And I see light where there once was only ash.
Wisdom doesn’t stop the storms. But it does teach us how to walk through them.
Take a moment to recognize which of these elements has guided you through your hardest times—and which you feel could use more attention to grow stronger.
